What Is a Healing Mantra? Finding the Words You Need Through EMDR and IFS
Healing mantras can be whatever helps whether it’s daily stress, triggering headlines, or something haunting you from the past.
What are the words you need to hear when life feels hard?
Explore healing mantras, EMDR positive beliefs, IFS parts work, and self-compassion in therapy.
Maybe you already have a mantra that helps you get through difficult days. Maybe it is something you’ve heard from someone you love. Or maybe you’re still searching for the words that feel comforting rather than forced.
Taylor Swift has talked about using the words “I chose this” to help her through difficult moments. There’s something interesting about that idea: sometimes a few simple words can become an anchor when everything else feels overwhelming.
But the words that help one person may not be the words another person needs.
One person might need:
“Keep going.”
Another might need:
“You’re allowed to stop.”
Someone else might need:
“This isn’t your fault.”
And sometimes the words we need most are words we wish someone had said to us a long time ago.
What Is a Mantra?
(Please see note at the end of this post about my current use and the history of the word Mantra)
A mantra is a word, phrase, or sentence that you intentionally return to, often during difficult or stressful moments.
A helpful mantra doesn’t have to be inspirational or positive.
In fact, sometimes the most helpful words are simple, grounding, and believable.
A mantra might remind you that you have choices.
It might offer reassurance.
It might help you reconnect with yourself when you’re overwhelmed.
Or it might give you permission to feel something you’ve spent a long time trying not to feel.
For example:
- I can choose.
- I’m here.
- I believe you.
- You’re safe with me.
- I don’t have to do this alone.
- I can take this one moment at a time.
- It’s okay to feel sad.
- It’s okay to feel angry.
- I don’t have to earn love.
- I’ve got this.
- It’s not my fault
Your mantra might be something completely different.
Today these themes came up in therapy:
“I don’t deserve to be treated this way” and “I am worthy of love just as I am”
There is even a therapist who has “F* this S*” as their mantra. Whatever works.
Your Mantra Doesn’t Have to Be Forced Positivity
Sometimes the idea of positive affirmations can feel uncomfortable, especially when you’re going through something genuinely difficult.
If you’re hurting, telling yourself “Everything is wonderful!” may not feel supportive at all.
You don’t have to pretend everything is okay.
A healing mantra can be much more honest.
Instead of:
“Nothing bad is going to happen.”
You might need:
“Whatever happens, I can stay with myself.”
Instead of:
“I shouldn’t be upset.”
You might need:
“It’s okay that this hurts.”
Instead of:
“I need to figure everything out right now.”
You might need:
“I don’t have to know everything today.”
The goal isn’t to convince yourself of something you don’t believe.
It’s to find words that feel supportive, compassionate, and possible.
How EMDR Uses Positive Beliefs
In EMDR therapy, we often work with a positive belief, which is a belief or statement you would like to be able to hold about yourself as you heal from difficult experiences.
For example, someone might struggle with a negative belief such as:
“I’m powerless.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“I’m unlovable.”
“I can’t trust myself.”
Through EMDR therapy, we may work toward a more adaptive belief, such as:
“I have choices.”
“I am worthy.”
“I can trust myself.”
“I am safe now.”
“I can handle this.”
Sometimes the words are surprisingly simple.
And they don’t have to feel completely true when you first begin.
Therapy can create an opportunity to process the experiences that made the negative belief feel so deeply true in the first place.
Over time, a positive belief may begin to feel less like something you’re trying to convince yourself of and more like something you can actually experience.
More on EMDR here:
Can EMDR Work If You Don’t Remember Your Childhood Trauma? – Colorado Wildflower Counseling
Heal Trauma and patterns with EMDR Therapy Colorado
How IFS Can Help You Find the Words You Need
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, sometimes called parts work, offers another way to explore the words that may be meaningful to you.
IFS recognizes that we can have different parts of ourselves that carry different emotions, beliefs, memories, and protective roles.
One part of you might be scared.
Another might be angry.
Another might desperately want to keep everyone happy.
Another might want to shut down and disappear for a while.
Rather than judging these parts, IFS invites us to become curious about them.
You might ask:
What does this part need from me?
What is this part hoping for?
What would help this part feel less alone?
What is this part trying to protect me from?
Sometimes, the answers can point us toward the words we need most.
Maybe a worried part needs:
“I’m here with you.”
Maybe a part that feels responsible for everything needs:
“You don’t have to carry all of this.”
Maybe a part that feels ashamed needs:
“I believe you.”
Maybe a part that learned it wasn’t safe to depend on anyone needs:
“You don’t have to do this alone.”
These aren’t words we’re forcing onto a part.
We’re becoming curious about what the part actually needs.
More on IFS here:
healing with Internal Family Systems Therapy in Colorado
Finding Clarity in Internal Family Systems Therapy Colorado healing with Internal Family Systems Therapy in Colorado
IFS Therapy in Colorado: Why Curiosity Is a First Step to Healing – Colorado Wildflower Counseling
Sometimes the Words Need to Be Felt, Not Just Thought
This is something I find especially meaningful in trauma therapy.
Sometimes the words we need most aren’t words we need to think harder about.
They’re words we need to feel, practice, and experience differently.
You might intellectually know:
“I am worthy.”
But another part of you may still carry an old experience that says otherwise.
You might know:
“I’m allowed to have boundaries.”
But your nervous system may still react as though setting a boundary means you’re going to lose connection or approval.
You might know:
“I’m safe now.”
But your body may still respond to something in the present as though you’re back in an earlier experience.
This is one reason trauma therapy involves more than simply thinking differently or reframing or finding the silver lining.
Approaches such as EMDR, IFS therapy, and somatic therapy can provide different ways of exploring the relationship between your thoughts, emotions, body, memories, and protective responses.
More on how I love to integrate these modalities here:
EMDR, IFS, and Somatic Therapy in Colorado
More on Somatic therapy here: How Somatic Therapy Can Help You Heal – Colorado Wildflower Counseling
How Do You Find Your Own Healing Mantra?
You don’t need to choose a phrase because it sounds inspirational.
Instead, try getting curious about what you actually need.
Ask yourself:
What did I need someone to say to me then?
Maybe you needed someone to say:
“I believe you.”
“I’m not leaving you.”
“You don’t have to do this alone.”
“You’re allowed to be angry.”
“You don’t have to be perfect.”
“You don’t have to earn love.”
“I see you.”
“You matter.”
“You get to choose.”
Now ask:
Can I begin offering some version of those words to myself?
You don’t have to force yourself to believe them immediately.
You can simply begin practicing what it feels like to hear them.
Your Mantra Might Change
You also don’t need one perfect mantra for the rest of your life.
The words you need when you’re grieving may not be the words you need when you’re anxious.
The words you need when you’re exhausted may not be the words you need when you’re making a difficult decision.
Sometimes your mantra might be:
“Keep going.”
And sometimes it might be:
“You’re allowed to rest.”
Sometimes:
“I can choose.”
And sometimes:
“I don’t have to decide today.”
Sometimes:
“I’ve got this.”
And sometimes:
“I don’t have to do this by myself.”
There is room for all of them.
A Question to Take With You
Here’s an invitation for today:
What are some words that might feel comforting that you can say to yourself right now?
Maybe it is:
I can choose.
I’m here.
You’re safe with me.
I believe you.
You don’t have to earn love.
I’ve got this.
Or maybe your sentence is entirely your own.
There is no perfect answer.
And you don’t have to turn it into a beautiful Instagram worthy affirmation.
Maybe it is simply the sentence that helps one small part of you feel a little less alone.
Sometimes a mantra becomes a lifeline.
Not because it magically makes the hard thing disappear, but because it gives you something steady to reach for when everything feels like too much.
You don’t have to pretend everything is okay.
You can simply begin with a few compassionate words:
“I’m here.”
EMDR, IFS, and Somatic Therapy in Colorado
If you’re looking for an EMDR therapist in Denver, an IFS therapist in Colorado, or trauma therapy that incorporates mind-body approaches, Colorado Wildflower Counseling offers EMDR therapy, IFS therapy, and somatic therapy for adults in Denver and throughout Colorado.
Therapy can be a space to explore the experiences, beliefs, emotions, body sensations, and protective parts that may be shaping how you respond to yourself and the world around you.
Ready to heal?
Call, text or email now to get a free consultation:
Contact – Colorado Wildflower Counseling
Therapy: EMDR IFS somatic – Colorado Wildflower Counseling
Check out my Instagram here, also. Naomi-EMDR, IFS, Somatic therapist in Colorado (@coloradowildflowercounseling) • Instagram photos and videos
And my Tik Tok account which is also a work in progress: Colorado Wildflower Counseling (@colorado.wildflow) | TikTok
Naomi Greenstone, LCSW is an EMDR-certified therapist in Colorado specializing in trauma, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, parenting, attachment wounds, nervous system regulation, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Deep Brain Reorienting, and Somatic Integration and Processing therapy.
Virtual therapy serving Denver, Aurora, Lakewood, Boulder, Longmont, Vail, Breckenridge, Colorado Springs, Fort Collins, Grand Junction, Durango, Telluride, Centennial, Parker Westminster, Arvada, Littleton, and surrounding Colorado communities.
Colorado Wildflower Counseling
Denver, Colorado and throughout Colorado
Photo of kittens I am currently fostering because they are wriggling around looking adorable!
Frequently Asked Questions About Healing Mantras, EMDR, and IFS Therapy
What is a healing mantra?
A healing mantra is a word or phrase you intentionally return to when you need support, grounding, encouragement, or compassion. It doesn’t have to be overly positive or inspirational. A helpful mantra is often a phrase that feels supportive and believable for you, such as “I’m here,” “I can choose,” or “I don’t have to do this alone.”
Can a mantra help with anxiety?
A mantra may provide a steady point of focus when anxiety or overwhelm makes it difficult to slow down. A compassionate phrase won’t necessarily make anxiety disappear, but it can offer a reminder that you can stay connected to yourself while experiencing difficult emotions or sensations.
What is a positive belief in EMDR therapy?
In EMDR therapy, a positive belief is a statement a person would like to be able to believe about themselves in connection with a difficult experience. Examples might include “I am worthy,” “I have choices,” “I can trust myself,” or “I am safe now.” EMDR therapy can help process experiences that may have contributed to negative beliefs about yourself.
How does IFS therapy relate to mantras?
IFS therapy, or Internal Family Systems therapy, can help you become curious about the different parts of yourself and what they may need. Instead of choosing a mantra and simply repeating it, you might explore questions such as, “What does this part need from me?” or “What would help this part feel less alone?” The answers may help you discover words that feel genuinely supportive.
Do I have to believe my mantra for it to work?
No. You don’t have to completely believe a phrase when you first choose it. In fact, a statement that feels too far from your current experience may feel frustrating or invalidating. You might start with something that feels more accessible, such as “I’m learning that I can trust myself” rather than “I completely trust myself.”
What if positive affirmations don’t feel helpful to me?
That’s completely okay. Healing doesn’t require you to force yourself into positive thinking. You may find more support in a phrase that acknowledges what you’re actually experiencing, such as “This is really hard, and I’m here with myself,” or “I don’t have to figure everything out right now.”
Can I use a mantra while working through trauma?
A compassionate phrase may be one tool you use while working through difficult experiences, but a mantra isn’t a substitute for trauma therapy. If trauma symptoms are significantly affecting your daily life, relationships, sleep, or sense of safety, working with a qualified mental health professional may provide additional support.
Can EMDR and IFS therapy be used together?
EMDR and IFS therapy can complement one another for some people. IFS can provide a way to understand protective parts, emotions, and internal experiences, while EMDR can be used to process distressing memories and experiences. A therapist can help determine what approach or combination of approaches is appropriate for your individual needs.
How do I find an EMDR or IFS therapist in Colorado?
If you’re looking for an EMDR therapist or IFS therapist in Colorado, you can look for a licensed mental health professional who has specific training in the approaches you’re interested in. Colorado Wildflower Counseling offers EMDR therapy, IFS therapy, and somatic therapy for adults in Denver and throughout Colorado.
A Note About the Word “Mantra”
The word mantra has roots in Sanskrit and has longstanding spiritual and religious significance, particularly within Hindu and Buddhist traditions. In this article, I’m using the word in its contemporary, everyday sense to describe a phrase or words someone intentionally returns to for grounding, encouragement, or support.
I also want to acknowledge that using mantra as a general wellness term can sometimes separate the word from its cultural and spiritual context. This article isn’t intended to redefine or speak for those traditions, but rather to be mindful of the word’s history while discussing how intentional phrases may be used in a therapeutic context.
Educational content only. This article is not therapy or a substitute for working with your own mental health professional.
